Not a Goal, A Passion

“What is your goal?”

It sounds like a simple question—until you don’t have an answer you’re allowed to say.

Goal for what? Treatment? Life? Survival?

Before I found recovery, my goal was to die.
I knew better than to say that out loud.

So instead, I said what I thought they wanted to hear:
Find a job. Sleep through the night. Be okay.

Goals sound good in the clinical world. They’re measurable. Trackable. Clean.
But you can meet every goal—and still feel empty.

Because it’s not the goal that changes a life.
It’s discovering what makes life worth living.

Recovery didn’t begin for me when I set goals.
It began when I found meaning.

And meaning didn’t come as one big answer—it came in pieces.

I love to write. I want to publish my own books.
I love creating things that make me smile.
I feel fulfilled when I help someone discover a life they love.
I feel alive when I’m advocating for people who haven’t yet found their voice.

These are the things that move me forward.
Not a checklist in a file.

So what if we asked a different question?

What if, instead of “What is your goal?” we asked:
“What brings you to life?”

What do you enjoy?
What makes you feel strong, connected, purposeful?
If money or education weren’t barriers, who would you be?

Those answers don’t come easily.
Many of us have never been asked.
Some of us don’t believe we’re allowed to have them.

But that’s where recovery lives—in the exploration.

Trying things.
Paying attention to how we feel.
Letting ourselves change our minds.

I once thought I would love decorating T-shirts.
And I did—until I had to make twenty of them.
One was joy. Twenty was pressure. The passion disappeared.

That’s the point.
We don’t find meaning by deciding—we find it by experiencing.

And we are not limited to just one thing.

The real barrier isn’t ability.
It’s the voice that says, “Who do you think you are?”

That’s where support matters.

Not just setting goals—but helping people move past fear.
Helping them believe that something more is possible.

I worked with a young woman who, at 21, believed life wasn’t meant for her.
Her family seemed to agree.

She spent her time caring for her sister’s children—something she enjoyed—but she wasn’t paid. She felt used, but didn’t believe she had the right to ask for more.

All she wanted was enough money to get her nails done. Maybe a haircut.

It took weeks for her to find the courage to ask.

When she finally did, the answer was simple:
“Of course. How much do you want?”

She froze.

She had never imagined the answer would be yes.
So she had never prepared for it.

Isn’t that what we do?

We build the courage to ask—but not the belief to receive.

That’s where real support comes in.

Not just helping someone set a goal—
but helping them believe their life can be bigger than they imagined.

Because when we discover what fulfills us—
we don’t just function.

We live.

And everyone can.

Everyone has something within them that brings joy, connection, and purpose.
Not everyone has been given permission to find it.

Maybe that’s where we begin.